


Somebody to someone

by machiwa



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, F/F, grief but not from any important character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29579553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/machiwa/pseuds/machiwa
Summary: She is trying to get this whole speech ready in her mind “I find you drop dead gorgeous, I think we get each other. Would you like to go to my place?”She swears she has done this before. Why the hell does she feel so nervous? She doesn’t want to leave any questions about her intentions with this encounter but this feeling is different.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47





	Somebody to someone

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so please be gentle with me but I need all the feedback. This is probably a terrible read for you, but I gotta take this leap if I want to improve.
> 
> I also might have (more like definitely) projected some personal experience in this fic so even if it sounds weird or odd. It kinda happened to me.
> 
> Warnings:  
> English is my second language, so apologies for any horrible mistakes.  
> Spanish is my first language, so the Spanish used here is kinda particular to the north of Mexico (which is where I am from).  
> I´m dyslexic so even if this formatting might look odd it helps me to read it. SORRY.  
> Also, backstories are blurry in this fic don´t assume much of it.

She abruptly wakes up, her mind is rushing and going all over the place. She looks over her shoulder and can see Alex still sleeping under the sheets. She gets out of the bed quietly and starts putting her clothes on. 

She can’t believe it. This was a huge mistake. This was supposed to be just a hook-up, no feelings. She just needed to get out of her head for once. This is not what she wanted. 

She didn’t think she would let herself feel so vulnerable again. She’s always so practical when it comes to casual sex but what happened last night was definitely not casual. 

She feels so close to having a panic attack. She finishes putting on her shoes and turns to glance at the bed. She can see Alex´s silhouette completely still, deeply asleep.

Fuck, she just wishes she had met her in some other moment in her life. Not right now when she still feels so raw with this gaping hole in her soul. 

She opens the apartment door as quietly as she can and steps out.

“I´m sorry Alex, you deserve so much better”

_______________

“Hi Lu”  
“Hi! How are you? How was the service? Again I’m sorry for not being there.”  
“Lu, I think I’m having a panic attack”  
“What?! Where are you?! I can drive there right now. What the fuck happened?!”

_______________

“So you are saying you had mind-blowing sex, fell asleep, woke up, had a panic attack, and left this girl’s place without saying anything?” Lu summarizes. 

“Yes” Maggie confirms, taking short but deep breaths, still reeling from her almost panic attack.

“Hey, Mags. You are ok, I’m here. Tell me what’s going on?” Lu asks while rubbing her shoulder. “I think I wasn’t ready to feel such a deep connection with someone right now. I…” She starts to feel that lump in her throat again.

Lu just looks at her patiently, still rubbing her shoulder, letting Maggie take her time.

“After Emily, I decided that I never wanted to be vulnerable again. I am completely aware that in the end, I fucked up. But we both know how horribly she treated me those last 6 months. So I promised myself that I wouldn’t ever let my guard down”. 

She takes a pause, still struggling to put her thoughts in comprehensive words. “So I met up with Alex, just looking to distract myself. The plan was to hang out like we have been doing lately. And I knew she liked me more than a friend, so I was just expecting to maybe hook up”

She takes a pause and swallows, she can still feel that bruised kiss. “She is so beautiful, so smart, so strong, such a huge nerd and you know how redheads are my fucking weakness. She made me feel so safe right away. I couldn´t think straight. In the middle of it all, without thinking twice I just let go”

“Oh babe, you caught feelings” Luce quietly says.

“I caught feelings” She confirms.

At that moment Lu gets closer pulling Maggie closer to fully hug her. She can feel the knot in the back of her throat forming, her eyes getting clouded. 

And just like a few hours ago, she just let’s go. 

_______________

She wakes up again, this time on Lu’s couch, wrapped in a blanket. She starts looking around for her and notices a cup of tea on the coffee table. She sits up and reaches out for the cup.

Lucy enters the living room “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Better. So much better. Thank you Lu” she replies as she grabs the hot cup with both of her hands and blows on it. “No problem Mags.” Lu sits down next to her, giving her a very particular look. “So… about this Alex person”.

“What about her?” She takes a small sip of her tea, feeling it warming her body from the inside. She definitely feels better, for some odd reason she feels hopeful.  
“I haven’t seen you this affected by anyone in years.” Lu points out. “And I know how hard and terrifying is choosing to be vulnerable again. I just hope that fear is not keeping you away from living something wonderful.”

Lu is still staring at her, analyzing her. “I know losing your dad has completely thrown the world off its axis. But babe, you deserve to be happy and free. You deserve to be somebody´s someone” 

Maggie can feel herself get emotional again, “I think… I think you might be right,” she says. Lu smiles “Oh you know I´m always right”

“I need to talk to her”

_______________

24 HOURS EARLIER

“This has been such a shitty and long day” she thinks as she steps out of the church into the cold evening. 

It’s been a month since her dad passed away and the whole world still feels in shambles. 

She slowly takes a deep breath, closing her eyes, letting herself feel the cold breeze, that winter smell still lingering. 

A month, a full month after that life-changing day. 

Why does she keep feeling so heartbroken yet so free? Such polarizing and overwhelming feelings. 

What does that say about her? She wonders. What does it say about who she is?

She had agreed to come to his last misa with her mother, and she is not sure anymore why she keeps putting this façade. 

“He is not here anymore and I finally get to be myself” she murmurs to herself. What a terrible thought, what a terrible truth.

Don’t get her wrong, he was an amazing father considering the struggles of any other immigrant who came from nothing, building a life for himself and his family. It was them against the world. 

But Maggie knows, oh boy, does she knows how bad things could have turned for her if he ever had found out she was gay. 

Yet she starts to delve into so many good memories from her childhood. 

She can’t help but remember those Saturdays when her mom had to work and it was only the two of them. He would take her to the city in their little rattled yellow Datsun. He would park in the metro station, the one near the icecream shop. So they could get some on their way back home. 

He could always turn the simplest things into the greatest joys. 

They would take the elevated metro line and ride it for hours, from one side to the other. It felt like a fair ride for her. They would look at all the houses and admire the surrounding mountains. He would tell her stories of his childhood back in Mexico. “Pero yo me vine para darte un mejor futuro mija, así que a echarle un chingo de ganas!” (“But I came here to give you a better future, so you go out and give it your all!!)

And that’s when the heartbreak burned the most. That’s what she had wanted her whole life, just to make him proud.

She can feel the knot in the back of her throat forming. She knows coming out wasn’t ever going to be ok. But it still hurts so much to lose him, and win her own freedom in exchange.

She really doesn’t like the hand she has been dealt with but she also knows she just needs to keep carry on. 

“Somos mexicanos y nosotros le chingamos pa´ delante siempre” (“We are Mexicans, and we always push forward”). She can almost hear his raspy voice saying it. 

So she does exactly that. She pushes forward.

_______________

Its been a few more hours after the church service ended. She feels emotionally drained after helping her mother with dinner for her extended family, who are currently filling up her childhood house.

She is washing the last few dishes that couldn’t fit in the dishwasher when her phone dings. She recognizes that specific ding, it´s Alex. 

She dries her hands and goes fishing for her phone in her coat’s inner pocket. And indeed it´s her. She could use an excuse to get out of here. Maybe saying she had an urgent case could relieve her from daughter duties. After all, they always respected her work.

Alex: Pool at Dollywood 9 pm?

She knows Alex is into her, she can tell. And after one particular awkward conversation, Maggie now knows she just very recently came out. She knows she has been out on some dates. Probably has gotten laid a few times. For a late bloomer, she sure seems pretty confident. 

Since the whole Emily debacle, she’s only had a couple of friends with benefits or the occasional one-night stand. And honestly, she is not sure if she will ever be ready to try again.  
On the other hand, Alex is something else, the first time she saw her she took her breath away. She has this powerful badass aura that she finds pretty irresistible. 

“This is ridiculous!” She is sitting here thinking of hooking up with her sort of co-worker, while in a room full of people mourning her father. She is having an internal debate. Because she knows she really needs to feel anything but this dread that has been consuming her body and soul this past month. “Fuck it”.

Maggie: See you there Danvers. 

_______________

Maggie is getting beers for them while Alex is getting the pool table ready for the next game. She is trying to get this whole speech ready “I find you drop dead gorgeous, I think we get each other. Would you like to go to my place?” 

That´s awful, right? She swears she has done this before. Why the hell does she feel so nervous? She doesn’t want to leave any questions about her intentions with this encounter but this feeling is different.

The bartender is back with their beers. She grabs them and starts walking back to the pool table while thinking on how to make her move. But once she arrives at the table Alex grabs both beers and sets them to the side. A very confused Maggie just looks at Alex. Alex moves closer.

And suddenly Alex kisses her.

_______________

These last 24 hours have been fucking insane, and she can’t believe she is back at Alex´s door. She is so nervous, she feels nauseous. Lu was right, it is terrifying to choose to be vulnerable.

God, she hopes Alex is willing to listen. She wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t want to. Not after all that happened last night. Not after what they both said and how she left her.

Maggie fixes her jacket, makes sure she is standing straight, takes a deep breath, and knocks on Alex´s door. After a few seconds, Alex opens the door and very quietly says “Hey”

Maggie can see the hurt in her eyes and she hates herself already “Can I come in?”. 

“Ok, yeah”

Maggie can feel her own heart breaking. Alex thinks she is here to end this.  
She enters the apartment slowly. She turns around and she hasn´t even looked really at what Alex was wearing but she looks devastatingly beautiful in this white sweater. 

“I fucked up. I´m so sorry I left”

“It´s ok Maggie, I know you said at the bar it was a one-time thing, you don’t owe me anything.”

“But I do Alex. I was lying, of course it´s not just a one-time thing. Everything was so intense and I simply couldn’t handle it, so I ran. But you didn’t deserve that.” She can see Alex biting her lip, probably doubting everything Maggie just said.

“I haven’t forgotten all the things we said while we were lying in bed.” She hopes she is making some sense, she is so frustrated with herself right now. Maybe this morning she was panicking but now she is so sure of how much she really wants to try this with Alex. 

“You haven’t?” Alex asks with hope shining through her eyes.

“No I haven’t, and even if I´m terrified of doing this, something insides me tells me you are worth the risk. Losing my father has made one thing very clear.” Maggie slowly starts making her way to Alex.

“And what´s that?” Alex sees her getting closer, and starts moving towards her too. 

“We should be who we are, and we should kiss the girls we wanna kiss, and I really just...I want to kiss you” 

And so she just kisses her.


End file.
